Whispered Words

It all started out so innocently.
Whispered words from a trusted friend.
“Your not happy here.”
A simple statement, with an immediate and profound impact on my current state of being.

Those words washed over me like a flood, destroying the emotional dam I’d built up to numb me from the truth. The truth that I was living in rebellion, outside the will of God. But how could I admit those words were true when I finally had a job I loved?

For the last 20 years I have held many positions, in the pursuit of a career, and have found only one job I truly enjoyed. There are three things that I look for when determining if I love a job or not. Good pay, wonderful co-workers and work that stimulates me mentally. However, most jobs only meet one of those criteria! In fact only one has met all three and it was in Nashville outside of the will of God.  For the first time in my life I had found a job that stimulated me mentally, offered financial security and I had the best co-workers in the world. So for 8 hours a day I poured myself into my work, only to trudge home to an empty house and an empty heart. I had friends in abundance, but no social life, and churches in abundance, but no relationship with Him.

For four years I struggled to find connection, to feel a part of something, and to connect with Him without admitting the truth. The truth that I was living in rebellion. God had called me back to Kansas City and instead I choose to go to Nashville. He let me, and He blessed me in that choice, but the consequence of my rebellion was separation from Him, the source of my joy, peace and life. When I choose to ignore His voice and move to Nashville I built a wall that separated me from Him. A wall that I couldn’t break through without acknowledging the truth of those words.

“Your not happy here.”

So when those words washed over me I watched as my wall was demolished in one fell swoop. And I knew in that instance that I had a choice I could rebuild the wall or I could have relationship with Him.

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