Finding myself

What’s it like living in the will of God?

It’s confusing, emotional, and sometimes downright awful!

It’s questioning, every moment of every day, if you really heard his voice say go that way.  Then deciding if you will continue to go where He pointed.

These past two months have been some of the hardest of my life.  I had to choose to let go of the good life I had found and choose His best. But I never doubted for a second, in my heart anyway, that this was His will. 12 years ago, I choose Him and I have done my best to follow Him. But the last four years I choose to ignore His calling on my life and I ended up in the desert of rebellion. Now, I have turned my gaze back to Him and have agreed to walk the path He wants me.  And my soul feels as if it is refreshed by the living spring of God. He has given me water as he promised and the only thing I really thirst for is more of Him.

But I still find myself angry and confused.
This is not the path I would have picked for me. I picked a path that included a husband, a couple kids, weekends at the ball park that kind of thing. On my path, I would live out my days merely raising the next generation and loving my husband. But He has more for me, and if I am honest I am truly excited to see what His best really is. I have clung to good for so long, and now I am attempting to reach for His best and what I am finding is surprising me.
At the bottom of His wellspring of life I have found a joy and peace that is truly indescribable. And I have found a confidence in myself and an ability to deal with the hard things I never wanted to before. But most importantly I am finding me, the me He shaped me to be before I was even in my mother’s womb.

I am stepping into the dream of my heart and I am excited to see where He takes me.

This is me taking a big bite out of life!

So I ask again, what’s it like to live in the will of God? Terrifying, fulfilling, joyful and peaceful!!

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