I went for a walk this morning. I am blessed to live 5 minutes from Smithville Lake, so I walk on the trail there. As I started out I marveled at the beauty of the day. The sky was a crystal blue, birds danced above the trees and the water was smooth and calm. As I walked though, a wind began to blow. It started out behind me, driving me pushing me forward, I hardly noticed it was there at first as it did nothing to impede my progress.
Soon I had to turn and I was walking straight into the rushing air. It was blowing so hard I could do nothing but put one foot in front of the other using the path to guide me back to my car. The beautiful day around me was lost as I struggled to make progress in the blustery wind. When I did look up the once calm water had grown choppy and dangerous and clouds had begun to form in the empty sky.
As I struggled I tried to focus on the beauty that still surrounded me God began to relate my current predicament to the last few months in Kansas City. When I moved here in January I did so full of hope and promise, even excitement at some of the things God was asking me to do. Sure it was a new level of trust and obedience, but He always asks more of us so we have to rely on Him, right. But this past month the winds of Fear and Self-doubt have taken over my life, sucking the joy and hope out of each day.
God wanted to show me though that the beauty of the process still surrounds me. The time with my mother is precious, not to mention the much needed space to rest and remember who I am in Christ. Add on top of that the joy in chasing a dream, being allowed to follow my heart, this current life is a dream come true.
However, I have to choose how I am going to look at it. Will I continue to plow forward through the mundane or will I choose to look up and see the beauty of what god is doing. Be
cause, struggles come and struggles go, in fact most of my life has felt like a continual battle uphill. But the truth is there has been beauty every step along the way, I have just missed it in the moment. By refusing to look up and let my eyes rest on Jesus, I miss what He is doing. In the midst of my daily struggles he is moving and if I am not careful I will miss it.