It is amazing the difference a day can make when God is involved.
Last night as I lay in bed, these words rushed through my mind.
What if all the crap isn’t true?
What if this is all life is? Little moments, that make little impacts, that ripple through the world.
What if life isn’t an adventure; He has no path planned for my life?
What if I never have financial security, or take that trip to Bora Bora?
What if this IS the abundant life God has planned? No husband, no children, no family of my own. Just a daily struggle to make it from sleep to sleep.
What if this is all life is? Is He Enough?
Can He take the place of my carefully laid plans? Can I trust Him to create me a path and show me where it is?
Can I love Him enough to let Him be my husband, my children, my adventure?
That was last night.
This morning during devotion the speaker accused me of quitting (well he was talking to everyone, but I heard it straight from God)! I shrunk in disbelief, “How did He know?” About a year ago I gave up. I stopped writing, I stopped taking pictures, I stopped chasing God and I sat down. I have floated through life. My days have been lonely and miserable.
In Matthew 25:14-30 Jesus tells The Parable of the Talents. In the story there are three servants. Each servant is given a specific number of talents(money) from his master. Each man does something different with it, the last one buried it because He was fearful of his master. That last one is who I have become. I am the one who is terrified of failing, or more likely, succeeding.
I have refused to make my talent work for him. Instead I have chosen to bemoan my past, claiming it as a burden instead of claiming His victory over it. My burden is actually a platform that allows me to tell the world how blessed I truly am.
Last night I laid here asking myself all those questions. Tonight I have answers.
The little moments are what truly matters the most.
He has a plan to use my pain for His glory.
Life is an adventure that He has laid out for us to take together.
There is an abundant life available all I have to do is ask, seek and knock.
“Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened…how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matt 7:7-11