I quit

Have you ever given up?

Stopped striving for what you thought God wanted?

I have.

Last year I quit.

I stopped doing everything I loved and enjoyed. My camera has gone months without seeing the light of day. This blog has more cobwebs than words. My muscles ache to be used to run, lift, squat, and strain. And my creative eye went blind. I was done.

For ten years I had thrown myself into God’s process of transformation for my life. Each step I would think, “I’m almost there”. But where is there? That is the question I pondered at the end of last year and the answer surprised me.

Since coming to Christ in 2004; I had moved to two different states, made countless acquaintances, racked up months of counseling, and read through the bible at least two times. I gave up my life to follow His, spent 18 months living in a missional environment and always made sure I was volunteering at church. Where had all of this striving taken me?  To a state that was literally trying to kill me( allergies ugh), a depression so deep I never thought I would find my way out and a job that made me want to pull my hair out in boredom. I was exhausted, and God was telling me that I was missing the point.

So I quit.

And He took over!

He pushed me out of my comfort zone and into a job that stretches me everyday. With no experience for this position I had to rely on God to give me the focus and character I needed to excel. Everyday I am in awe that I work where I work, do what I do.

Then came the new church. The moment I walked into Grace Chapel my whole body screamed home. After the service I found myself volunteering, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. A small group welcomed me into their midst but I had to wait on God to begin to develop deep friendships. And He taught me that to be loved, I must love first.

Finally, He opened my eyes up to who I am. He taught me to see myself as He does, and to focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses. And He showed me that His blessings can not be earned. There is nothing I can do to change His heart for me, I already have it all.

Are you striving to earn His love?  Do you need to quit?

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